A way to blow of steam

During life, we are all faced with different types of life experiences that we either accept to face or crawl under our beds while over thinking what to do next. Well, what would you do if you are faced with lousy past relationships, high school friends that you wouldn’t even look at them because they never really cared?  All with starting to build and work toward a future that you want for yourself?

Let’s get started then.

First of all it’s been a while since I shared my thoughts, feelings, or whatever I do on this blog. I’m not going to write about how screwed up the system in my country is or even how hard the politicians are trying to separate between religious sects (and they’re doing a fine job without even trying!). I just don’t want to because it’s become part of a routine that we’ve become used to, a routine that we’ve made ourselves be accustomed to. We can’t change anything until the next parliament elections, which will supposedly happen after the presidential election. When that happens- I mean the parliament elections- the nominees will be throwing out cash as bribes so people will vote for them, then we get another screwed up system, and the cycle will continue. Not that I’m nagging about my country. I do love my country and am proud of it, but I’m against its corruption and leading it down a hell hole.

Anyways, I seem to have lost what my main point is. My life has been a lot of ups, and a whole lot of downs. It’s the average life. Great friends, loving family and luck. That’s what my life was.

When you’re going to school with someone, for let’s say I don’t know 4-5 years, you’re supposed to know them right? Well, what I’ve discovered was that even if you go to school with someone and hung out occasionally, doesn’t mean you know them. It’s like saying to a person, how about a cheesy pizza (ohh! I like pizza) without any cheese. It’s a shocker! Some of the classmates that were with me in my first school, and are now with me in college, who used to be my best friends are now people I used to know. It’s shocking how life works. It doesn’t show you what was really going on back then, and now 3 years later, it’s as clear as crystal. Just because I don’t follow the same life style as them, or how I “think” for a change they perceive that as being slutty and acting like a bitch, or whatever profanity language that comes to mind. When I actually heard that, I was appalled by such people whom I considered friends.
I’ve moved between schools, the third school, from which I graduated from, was a total disaster (All girls’ school). Have you ever seen a movie of how girls act in an all-girl school, in compared to girls being in a normal school? All the mayhem they cause, how very “fake” they are? Yeah that school was even worse. I can’t begin to describe the jealousy, hatred, bullying between girls. Even now, I never look any of the girls that were in my class, since they were a bunch of snobs, whose sole purpose in life is “letting their moms or dads find them a husband, having a bucket load of children and being a slave in a community that doesn’t allow a mother to even give a nationality to her kids.
I was brought up in a loving environment that didn’t care what your religion is, or what you believed in. I was brought up to accept all people. Thankfully, graduation ended in peace and I was out of that place for good.
As for college, it’s a jungle to struggle with everyday, and only the determined come out of it alive. I’m not going to talk much about college, because I always talk about that. Even friends in collage shouldn’t be trusted easily. Even though the group I’m with is quite the small Lebanese community. It has different sects, all with different people, perspective, ideas… and at least it opens you to larger opportunities and a larger group of people.

My life is still ahead of me, and I’m not going to waste it looking back at high school classmates who never stood by my side. My life holds people that cheered me on, and whom I cared for their future as much as I cared for mine.

In the end, whatever you face throughout your life will only will be seen in the type of person you show yourself in your community. As for me, my past relationships, breakups, heartaches to a past that wouldn’t mean anything to me now if I faced them again, even the occasional crushes and being a little too much trusting of people that never accounted me in their life. All these and many more have made me the person who’s sharing her thoughts online for everyone to see.

My thoughts may help some kid in the future, or it may not. It may come across to some people as pure nagging, but the truth is all these are just a way of keeping it all bottled in.

P.S. Sorry if I had offended any person who is concerned with this blog.

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